When is a punishment not a punishment? Are some schools confusing behaviour modification with punishment?

I was watching David Cameron doing a public Q+A session a week or so ago. In response to a question from a teacher he began to explain what the coalition was going to do to help teachers improve pupil behaviour in schools. One of the ideas he pushed quite strongly was to give teachers the legal right to detail pupils without notice. Good soundbite: let's get tough on the little blighters, show 'em who's boss, eh?

But how many schools would actually make use of the legal right to detain without notice? There are good reasons why schools give parents 24 hours notice; and those reasons don't go away if you remove the requirement for notice. Detaining children after school without notice would do nothing other than damage the relationship between schools and parents. Many pupils have familial responsibilities outside school time, from collecting younger siblings to doing shopping on the way home. They may also have appointments with a dentist or doctor. How thrilled would you be if your family visit to see Gran in hospital was kiboshed by little Johnny being an hour late home from school, no note no explanation?

It's simply not worth it for schools to implement a no-notice after school detention; it would undo much of the work schools do to build a positive, supportive relationships with parents. So thanks, Dave, but you've offered us a bit of a chocolate teapot there, mate.

Who decided that pupils in school should now be called 'learners' and, more to the point, why?

There is obviously something about the term 'pupil' that a lot of educationalists don't like. Some years ago my school started referring to them as 'students'. No reason was given, it was just an announcement form the head that henceforth that term would be used. Now, I was was fairly ok going along with that, us being an 11 - 18 school. The term 'student' does embody quite similar connotations to those of 'pupil', except that 'student' has a more 'adult' feel about it, as in university student for example. For me the term 'pupil' describes a young person who is being taught some knowledge or skill by one (the teacher) who knows more or is more skilled. It also implies the learning of not just a single skill or piece of knowledge, but somehow more than that; perhaps a philosophy or certain life skill, for example.

In English we tend to reserve the term 'learner' to someone, of any age, who is learning a specific skill or piece of knowledge, as in 'learner driver' for example. The term also usually indicates that the person is still in the process of learning. Now, you can learn something without being taught it by someone else. The boy in my Y10 bottom set science class quickly learned that it is not a good plan to cut through the power pack cable with metal scissors while it is still plugged in and turned on at the socket. I didn't need to teach him that, he learned it all by his little self. We are called teachers because we, um, teach. So, the pupils should be called pupils, not learners. Now, get back to teaching your pupils (Teachees? Educatees?...)

Why is there so little choice of good cheap target tracking, attendance and behaviour programs for schools? (Well, apart from IRIS anyway). The answer lies in the way that the dominant schools MIS providers lock up school's data. Here's an example: Last week I went up to Tyne + Wear to demo our product to a school up there. When I got there it turned out to be a brand spanking new build. I did my demo to the behaviour leaders in the school. They liked it; thought IRIS was the best they'd seen and said they would like to move on to a trial. No problem, except that in order to get the shiny new building they had to sell their soul to the devil, in the form of that great Universal Step Backwards ... a managed service! They used to have an MIS provided by the dominant supplier, not perfect they would agree, but they were reasonably happy with it. Now, they have to use a different one provided by the company awarded the managed service contract; like it or not, it's all part of the 'service'.

Y'know those Google ads that pop up next to your mail? I saw one yesterday advertising a bit of equipment operated by a 'foot pedal'. Is it the teacher in me or what? But that really grated ... foot pedal, is there any other sort of pedal?

If it wasn't foot operated, it wouldn't be a pedal, would it? And if it's a pedal then the word 'foot' is tautological and is superfluous. Why do people feel the need to qualify the word pedal, but not handle? If you said to someone 'Oh, turn this hand handle' they'd look at you as if you were a bit simple - but for some reason the term foot pedal is quite common. I'm waiting to see a cunning bit of machinery operated via a hand pedal...

Somebody asked me the other day if I thought behaviour in schools is worse now than it used to be. My immediate response was to say yes, it is. But then I began to think about my own time at school....

It got me thinking back to my own time at secondary school, in the 60s. It brought all sorts of vivid memories flooding back like seeing my music teacher staggering out of his classroom with a busted nose having been thumped by Big Billy Barnes. Mr Entwhistle the English teacher snoozing with his chin on his chest while we read Jack London's "Call of the wild" in silence - or at least that's what we were supposed to be doing, in reality we were carefully inserting needle sharp pen nibs into the end of the waxed paper straws we used to have for the school milk then, very surreptitiously and with a deft upward flick of the wrist, flinging them up to stick in the wooden ceiling.

A former primary head was judging schools’ performance despite GTC’s ‘guilty’ verdict. Well, Ofsted and the GTC in the same story; can I resist the temptation to have a go at both of them at once? (er, no.)

Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach.
Those who can't teach, teach teachers to teach.
Those that can't even do that and who have a variety of psychological problems, including superiority complex, delusions of grandeur (and competence) become ..... ta dah..... Ofsted inspectors!

"Pupils who are upset by something their headteacher does will be able to complain to a new service in England". Another stick to beat teachers with? Read the full BBC news item here.

Pupils and parents who feel that they have suffered an 'injustice' will be able to complain via a new service set up under the Apprenticeship, Skills, Children and Learning Act. So what constitutes an injustice, exactly? A spokesperson for the Department for Cushions and Soft Furnishings said that an 'injustice' may include hurt feelings, distress, worry or inconvenience". So the first thing I do is check the date, nope, it's not April 1st, so presumably this is for real then? Hurt feelings? Inconvenience? If I got a complaint every time I inconvenienced a pupil or hurt their feelings...